Overcoming porn
Isn't kind of funny how the things that affect most of us are rarely talked about? It’s almost as if we avoid conversations or uncomfortable topics. If we happen to bring these things up, we do it as quickly and as vague as possible. Today, I want to spend some time talking about overcoming pornography.
To be completely honest, this is something that I personally struggled with for many years but thank the Lord He set me free. Again, I know that this is the awkward part. We often like to talk about it through somebody else's lens, but I know if I am open, it can help you become free too!
I will give just a few quick tips that were extremely helpful to me. Now, these tips are easy to say, but they are not easy to do. It takes courage and humility to overcome this struggle. If you are willing to take these steps, then I believe you will be on your way to freedom and healing. First things first, we must confess this sin. Yes, of course, we need to repent and get things right with the Lord. But scripture clearly tells us that as we confess "on to another," we receive healing from our sin. So yes, you need to tell someone. I would often go through this cycle, one week is good, the next week, I would fall. I knew what I needed to do deep down inside, but I would try many different things to avoid confession. I struggled with this while I was in ministry, leadership at church, and a husband and a father.
I can recall a turning point in my struggle. I was alone with my wife at our home. I could feel the Holy Spirit's burning in my heart, urging me to confess to my wife. Of course, I wanted to fight it off like I did for many years, but this time was different. I was tired of hiding, I was tired of falling, I was tired of PORN. I mustered up all the courage I had in me, and by the grace of God, I was able to confess to my wife. We talked, and we prayed together, and I began the healing process. Immediately, the Holy Spirit challenged me further. He asked me to confess it to my pastors. Long story short, I was obedient. This decision was not easy; I was fearful of what they might think of me. But I knew it needed to be done.
As my walk with the Lord continued, so did the temptation to run back to the sin I was set free from. So I needed to take more steps to fully overcome. First, I need to confess, but now I needed to establish a covering over my life. I began to set healthy boundaries all around me. I deleted apps that would lead to temptation. I stopped watching shows and movies that weren't necessarily bad but would often lead me down a path I did not want to go in. And my last level of covering was to allow others in my life to help me. The Lord specifically pointed out 5 men in my life that I would be open with and ask them to keep me in prayer and accountable. This again took some humility. I had to stop thinking that I was too good to struggle and that I needed real help from God's real men.
Lastly, but most importantly. I would even say this should be our first priority. Even before we confess, before we build a covering, we must find the right cause. I really wanted to get over this to be a better husband, father, and leader. These reasons were not wrong, but they weren't enough motivation to keep me away from sin. After a long conversation with a close friend of mine, I discovered my cause. I couldn't fight this battle for the sake of my earthly titles or motives. I had to realize that my motivation was Jesus Himself. Every time I sinned, I sinned against Him. Whenever I fell, I hurt His heart. My reason is Jesus.
So, if you are struggling with this sin, take my advice. Confess to someone you trust, build a covering around you, and find the right cause.