have you left your first love?

Have you ever needed a moment with God? You had a bad week, or maybe even a bad month, and you feel distant from God? Although our feelings do not dictate our closeness to the Lord, sometimes they can be a sign that something is off. 

I'm not a very emotional person, but there are some weeks where I feel this way. I believe I am saved! I know God loves me, but there are those times where it just doesn't FEEL like it. 

Well, I was in one of those seasons. The best way to describe it was I felt very frustrated in my walk with the Lord. Prayer didn't feel the same. Reading the Word didn't feel the same. I was striving for something more from the Lord but couldn't quite figure out what was holding me back. Usually, I have a pretty good idea of areas I need to surrender to the Lord, but this time was different. I was doing the best I could yet still felt frustrated and slightly empty. Then a moment of breakthrough came...thank GOD! 

I was in my usual time of devotion. I had my bible out, ready to read in the text I had been in for a couple of weeks. Thinking it was going to be just another day like the rest, I suddenly felt prompted to read the book of Revelation. 

As I began to read chapter 2, I see that the Lord begins to address the church of Ephesus. He starts by saying that "I see your good works!" (obviously, it goes into much more detail). He is commending the church for the good things they have done and were doing! Then He brings a sudden correction. "I see your good works, but I still have something against you. You have LEFT your first love." As I was reading this, I felt the clarity from the Lord. He was beginning to show me why I felt so frustrated and empty. It wasn't because I wasn't doing the right things. It was because I was doing all the right things for the wrong reasons. My motivation of Love for Jesus was no longer there. I was operating out of RELIGION and not RELATIONSHIP. 

It was a moment of conviction and relief! I immediately repented for the heart that I had allowed to develop within me. I asked that the Lord would lead me back to first love. And at that moment, I felt refreshed! The frustration and the emptiness had faded away, and my love for Jesus began to become revived. 

This moment had nothing to do with my goodness. It was the goodness of God that drew me into repentance and restoration. We love Him BECAUSE He first loved us. 

Maybe you feel frustrated. Perhaps you're doing all of the right things but still feel empty. Could it be that you have left your first love? If so, the door is open for you to return.